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NOTES from NEW ORLEANS and BEYOND:: February 2016

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A Cataclysm of AMAZING art, pop, and punk FROM NEW ORLEANS AND BEYOND!

Sawrus

Local creep Brett Schwaner writes:

Can You Hear That?

The RAWR of Thunder in the Distance?

SAWRUS, a new recording label based out of Austin, TX, has awakened from its Jurassic slumber with the release of Lapsed Catholic from New Orleans’ own dIRECT ATTACK.

dIRECT ATTACK is an aggressively lo-fi goth rock band featuring Jack Champagne, formerly of Kindest Lines, along with David Fransen of Dropout Prom and The Fantastic Ooze.

SAWRUS is headed by former Six Ten Split Magazine publisher Rene Gauthreaux, with the goal of issuing high-grade cassette tape editions from emerging artists.

You can also stream Lapsed Catholic from dIRECT ATTACK at their Bandcamp site, or visit www.directattackmusic.com.

Also: be sure to check out this recent interview with dIRECT ATTACK over at Absolution NYC.

For more music, artwork, and updates, visit SAWRUS online at their Facebook page, or via their webstore for a shot at dIRECT ATTACK’s debut cassette.

AND! AND! AAAAND… for even more horror and goth rock from the New Orleans area, we here at SDR always recommend The Tomb of Nick Cage! What secrets lie within the tomb of Nick Cage? Perhaps a National Treasure Book of Secrets DVD?

directattack


Six-Fingered Serial Killers REJOICE! Vista Blue is Back!

Vista BlueCreeping out the shadows, watching you while you eat your Burger King…  Vista Blue is back with a new round of sing-along pop punk tunes! The latest offering from the Nashville-based project arrives courtesy of Mike Patton (he of The Loblaws and Robinsons fame, also the co-host of the Body Count Horror Podcast and author of The Horror Movie Society). Betsy Took My Baby Away features three songs, which you can hear over at Vista Blue’s Bandcamp site. Look for a follow-up release in March titled Jamie Lee, featuring four new songs. Vista Blue will be appearing at the Nashville stop of the International Pop Overthrow touring festival in May. Singer/songwriter Mike Patton also tipped me off to some other upcoming Vista Blue news of interest, particularly to New Orleans-area punk rock fans, but I have been sworn to silence until after the news becomes “official.” Check out more on Vista Blue over at just some punk songs.

 

 

Meanwhile, in New Orleans…

Check it out! This show flyer is amazing and terrifying, so naturally I love it…

Kill Ida Belle Flyer

Head out to the Banks Street Bar on Friday, February 26th for a chance to see New Orleans’ own Kill Ida Belle and Bad Misters, along with the first-ever live performance by The Fruit Machines. Kill Ida Belle and Bad Misters should both be pleasing to the ears of noise and indie rock fans. Check out Bad Misters’ discography to date over at their Bandcamp site, which straddles the line between indie and avant garde garage rock. Kill Ida Belle feature former members of Tom Violence!, drawing heavy inspiration from the school of Sonic Youth. Kill Ida Belle’s Chris Posner tells me that the band is presently preparing to record their follow-up to 2014’s The Debacle, which you can listen to right here. The Fruit Machines released The Wild At Heart demos in late 2015, which can be heard over at their Bandcamp space. The show at Banks St. is a FREE event. Showtime is New Orleans time (show up by 9 and don’t miss out!).

Oh, and that AMAZING flyer art? It arrives courtesy of New Orleans’ own Patrick Bailey, he of such noteworthy bands as Smiley with a Knife, LoOmis, and Meadow Flow. Bailey can currently be seen performing with Static Masks, who have a show with A Living Soundtrack scheduled for March 4 at Gasa Gasa in New Orleans (details at Static Masks’ Facebook page). You can check out more of Patrick Bailey’s artwork at his design label Strange Daisy.

And finally…

The Guignol Valentine’s Sale continues now through February 14th. Tonight, hold close the ones you love! For tonight, Death is lurking all around! Share the horrifying <3 now! Use the promo code IHEARTHORROR at checkout and save 25% on the debut installment of Guignol- A Tale of Escalating Horror, an all-new illustrated horror novel series written by yours truly. We’ve got plenty of Guignol news coming up, so stay tuned! Follow us on Facebook or Twitter for even more horror…

Guignol Valentine's Special

Brett.

CREEPING Around PARTY CITY on Saturday Night:: February 2016 Edition

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Welcome again to our on-going photo-chronicle of Saturday nights spent creeping around the City of Mandeville in search of forbidden knowledge. Sneaking around after dark is easy… if you’re a creep!

This week, we’re heading over to Party City! Hooray! Party time! Break out the nipple shields!

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I will admit to having not walked around Party City in many years.  The first thing that struck me is that the “party” being shilled at Party City these days is something out of a Stanley Kubrick film. These masks are on every aisle, and available in every color. It definitely feels like I’ve stumbled upon something sinister, or at the very least, kinky…

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Easter Fun is afoot! Lots of FUN colors to celebrate the Death and Resurrection of that Wascally Wabbit!

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Don’t wait! Stock up on creepy masksanime hair today! Pretend you’re starring as Goku in Stanley Kubrick’s Dragonball Z!

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36 SPRINGS! WOW! What a deal!

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COLORS! COLORS! COLORS! Every aisle at Party City is a horrifying pastel nightmare!

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A tower of eye patches for your convenience! Meanwhile, Spongebob is always lurking, never far…

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Jessica is 21 & Legal! Let’s Get Wild! Don’t forget to bring plenty of Eyes Wide Shut masks!

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Flash forward several years, and we’re sick of that incorrigible party girl Jessica. Bon Voyage! Good riddance! Voyage, by the way, is the original title of Celine’s Journey to the End of the Night, a masterwork of nihilistic French fiction. I wonder if Jessica has ever read it?

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Coffin Gift Box & Transformers Mask! A somewhat unexpected pairing… this was the only Transformers mask on the shelf, and in fact the lone Transformers item spotted in the entire store during my visit. It seems to have been randomly stashed next to this lovely, thoughtful Coffin Gift Box.

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New business attire that I will be wearing to the office on Monday.

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Thanks for visiting Party City! Nyaaaaah!

But don’t go anywhere, the party is just getting started, creeps!

Party City After-Party at KMart!!!

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That’s right! We have returned once again to KMart, where dreams come true! Mandeville is a magical place, bountiful in strip malls as far as thy eye can see. KMart is just across a beautiful, sprawling parking lot from Party City. The locals refer to it as “The Miracle Mile.” Okay, maybe it’s just me who calls it that. Let’s get this after party started! ABOVE: The KMart Bed! Who knows how many children have been conceived on it?

As we enter KMart, “Fox on the Run” begins to play over the store speakers. I close my eyes and let the moment wash over me…

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Star Wars Water! Purified, from Jubb Jubb Springs! But does it taste like Jar Jar? Here’s hoping we’re never desperate enough to have to find out!

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The neon/pastel nightmare begun at Party City continues at KMart! No spatula, nor cutlery set is safe, apparently…

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Hairy Sasquatch Valentine’s! What an amazing thing it is that we live in an age of such convenience! Just imagine living a century ago, at a time when you couldn’t just bust out on Saturday night, wild, careless, and free, and head over to KMart and browse Hairy Sasquatch Valentine’s at your leisure. I think about how destitute and unfulfilling life must have been back then, and I am grateful for the gift of modernity.

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Purr-fect Together Valentine’s Buddies! Best Friends! Strictly platonic! Friend-Zoned Forever and Ever!

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“The Dirtiest Shelf at the Dirtiest KMart.” HD Glasses, alone and untouched for years on the sterile shelves of KMart. A vintage 2004 offering!

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Monster Figure Pack! All of your kids’ occult favorites are here! Sign their souls over to Satan with this FUN assortment! This one caught my eye because it seems to include the world’s first-ever Sack-head Killer action figure for kids…

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The LOGO Board Game! All of your multinational corporate favorites are here! Old El Paso! GoDaddy.com! BMW! Windows! V8! And many, many more! But where’s the Brawndo logo? We are seriously like 5 minutes away from living in Idiocracy

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I’m with you, Grumpy! Let’s get out of here! I hate cuddly forest creatures, too!

That’s all for now, freaks!

We are still running our Valentine’s Sale over at Guignol HQ, now thru February 14th. Enter the lovely promo code IHEARTHORROR and Save 25% when you order the heart-warming debut of my all-new on-going Halloween horror series, Guignol – A Tale of Escalating Horror. What’s Your Favorite Holiday?

Guignol Valentine's Special

Brett.

Written by Guignol

January 31, 2016 at 12:00 pm

A GHOULISH Valentine From GUIGNOL

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Guignol Valentine's Special

Lovely News to Warm Your Long, Lonely HORRIFYING Winter Nights! 

Dear Fiends! Because I love you more than words could ever express, we are running a limited time offer over at GUIGNOL HQ.

Enter Promo Code IHEARTHORROR now through February 14th at the Guignol Webstore and SAVE 25% OFF your order!

Fall head over heels for the debut of the year’s most terrifying new illustrated Halloween horror saga — featuring 350 pages of content and 50 full color illustrations — the perfect token of affection for that special scary someone in your life, or for yourself, if you’re alone and horrifying!

This is a LIMITED TIME OFFER, good through February 14th only!

As always, please remember that GUIGNOL is Recommended for Mature Readers!

ORDER NOW


Love Guignol On Facebook Stalk Guignol On Twitter

What’s Your Favorite Holiday? <3

Guignol graphic shocking amoral

Written by Guignol

January 28, 2016 at 10:00 am

Creeping Around KMart on Saturday Night:: January 2016 Edition

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A Photo Essay

One magical Saturday night spent creeping around the aisles of KMart.

Though honestly, every Saturday night spent creeping around the aisles of KMart is truly magical.

KmartLayAway

Welcome to KMArt – where today’s wishes become tomorrow’s dreams! Do we dare to dream? Dare, we do. For we are the dreamers of dreams…

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Found near the entrance alongside super macho Wrestlin’ bro Valentine’s and Minions Valentine’s (the first of many, many, many, many, many Minions items spotted in KMart) — Fortune Teller Valentine favors, a sure sign that the occult has taken hold in our nation’s youth, defiling an otherwise wholesome holiday typically reserved for the exchange of greeting cards featuring Minions and lenticular wrestling bros. Valentine’s Day is an interesting holiday, though not really my favorite holiday

StarWarsTruckMats

Star Wars Truck Mats! The first of many, many, many, many, many, many Star Wars items spotted all over KMart. The Schwartz is strong in your truck, thanks to KMart! There’s Spidey, too!

FrozenSnow

Holiday clearance! The first of many, many, many, many, many Frozen items. Also, some nice clearance snow spray, in case you’re in desperate need of something to huff. I’m walking on sunshine!

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Star Wars and Buddies! But why spend $7.99 on Star Wars when you can get Buddies for $4.99?

Below: Snuggle up! All of your Silky Soft favorites are here!


Silky

BallBlaster

Ball Blaster! For the angry kid who gives wrestling Valentines.

StarWarsChair

Making our way deeper into the sporting goods section. This Star Wars Folding Chair looks like it’s been battered by war and scavenged by children. The Force Awakens has only been in theaters for a few weeks, but this chair looks like it’s been taking abuse on KMart’s shelves since Return of the Jedi.

FrozenTent

Frozen at every turn! The ubiquity of this franchise is starting to become alarming. It’s now 2016. This movie came out YEARS ago! Frozen merchandise is so pervasive that you would think the film had just been released, but the inevitable, horrifying sequel is still years away. Right now, Disney and Kristen Bell are waging a war for your children’s souls, against the Minions, and probably Satan. I have a feeling that 20 years from now we’ll all still be singing along with the release of Frozen 5, sleeping in children’s Frozen tents from KMart, no doubt…

AniMallz

Clearance items: “You’re an Animal!” Ani-Maulz Giant Infatable Animal Mitts let you live out your childhood fantasy of becoming a dog. Get down on the floor and eat out of a bowl, you filthy animal! KMart’s idea of a clearance discount is $9.49, marked down from $9.99. A shrewd pricing scheme, if ever I saw one.

Daisy

Along with Frozen, Star Wars, the occult, and Minions, children’s weaponry is another major merchandising category found at KMart.

BigKnife

Here we have a big ass buck knife. This thing is about the size of my arm, and this image doesn’t really do justice to how ridiculously large it is, so …

ScooterKnife

… here’s the same knife, mounted for display next to a girls’ motor scooter for size reference. As you can see, the blade is roughly the same size as an adolescent girl’s torso.

Interestingly, if you ever need a pogo stick (or a DOUBLE pogo stick!), just check above the girl’s motor scooters back by the big ass buck knives. KMart has everything you need, all in one place…

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Creeper

This appears to be some sort of penis. The tag says that it is called “The Creeper.”

Balls

100 Balls! Super fun! Hooray! As seen in GUIGNOL – A Tale of Escalating Horror!

Below: GUIGNOL artwork by Keith Hogan. Just look at all the FUN those kids are having!

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FrozenClearance

Frozen on clearance! These magical nights can’t last forever! We’ll miss you, Princess Whatsyourface and Horrid Snow Thing!

PaulaDeen

Paula Deen lives! Where else but KMart?

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Star Wars watching over you!

“Horror Blueberry Man With Beautiful KMart Synthetic Lighting” – photo by Brett Schwaner, January 16, 2016.

LegoAisle

I skipped over the LEGO aisle entirely. LEGOs are tiny and painful. They cause nothing but misery and suffering. I am old and gnarled. I know better than to set foot anywhere near these devil blocks…

—-

JaredLeto

Jared Leto!

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The Visions of Johnny the Skull! “I Project GHOSTS on the Walls!” Johnny Skull says as he invites his occult influences into your home. Won’t you give your children’s souls over to Satan? You can, at KMart.

JurassicWorld

This is the Jurassic World toy merchandise display, covered by a blue tarp, atop which sit a couple of slimy plastic bins – the contents of which are unknown, but I can reasonably presume that they contain dissolving body parts. You can see some Marvel toys too!

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Rocket Raccoon is ready to die!

Mario

Mario has always been a scumbag! I am pro-Luigi.

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Poor Jabba! Star Wars has only been out for a few weeks and he is already dinged and dented and marked down on clearance ($42.99, down from $44.00… shrewd, KMart. Very shrewd.). All that, plus he’s got to deal with horrifying sock poppets…

StarWarsHoops

Star Wars at every turn! Star Wars Hangin’ Hoops Basketball lets you live out your childhood dream of tipping off as NBA legend George “Air” Lucas against Lena Dunham’s boyfriend with the Western Conference Finals on the line!

Kmart

Thanks for visiting KMart! Is Space Jam 2 coming out soon?

And thanks for reading, freaks!

Because I love you, right now I am running a Valentine’s Day sale at my webstore. Use the promo code IHEARTHORROR and SAVE a lovely 25% on the first volume of my illustrated horror series, GUIGNOL – A Tale of Escalating Horror, now through February 14th. Shop now at our webstore, sweetheart. What’s Your Favorite Holiday? I love you.

Brett.

Guignol Valentine's Special

Written by Guignol

January 17, 2016 at 5:00 am

Help Save Famous Monsters Editor’s Home

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Forrest J Ackerman

A petition has been launched via Change.org to save the Los Angeles-area home of late Famous Monsters of Filmland editor Forrest J. Ackerman.

Ackerman, who passed away in 2008, was a prolific science fiction writer, editor, and literary agent, and is widely regarded as one of the most important figures in the science fiction genre.

The petition seeks to designate Ackerman’s former home as a national historic monument in order to prevent its demolition. Following the recent demolition of noted author Ray Bradbury’s former residence, the loss of Ackerman’s home is a very real possibility, but one that can be avoided. Once these places of historic significance are gone, they are gone forever, so the time to speak up is now.

Signing the petition on Change.org is free, carries no obligation, and only takes a moment.

Brett.

Next time on Screen Door Revolution: December brought a bit of an unfortunate down-turn in our health. Still fighting to make a comeback. We’re not dead yet, so there’s still more to come…

What’s Your Favorite Holiday?

Meanwhile in New Orleans…

A Living Soundtrack returns with their first live performance in years! Come out and see the venerable indie-experimentalists make their triumphant return to the stage at Siberia following the Krewe du Vieux parade on Saturday, January 23rd with the always-delightful Caddywhompus, Donovan Wolfington, and other special guests. If my casket hasn’t been sealed yet, I may make a special appearance…

Click here for SDR’s full archive of A Living Soundtrack coverage.

A Living Soundtrack Returns!

What’s Your Favorite Holiday?

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Guignol Holiday Greeting

Wishing you all the best this holiday season and into the New Year from all of us at Guignol – A Tale of Escalating Horror!

We would like to thank everyone who helped welcome our series in 2015. Your support of indie/ DIY horror makes projects like Guignol possible. Please stay tuned for much more to come, because the tale of escalating horror has only just begun…

Follow us all year long at readguignol.com, on Twitter, and Facebook.

Brett Schwaner
Creator / Guignol – A Tale of Escalating Horror

New Orleans Under A Blue September Sky

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NOLA Under Blue September Skies

“New Orleans Under a Blue September Sky”
September 12, 2015.
Photo by Brett Schwaner.

One of my favorite weekend hobbies is to read old Ghost Rider comic books in desolate parking lots around New Orleans, whenever possible (which is not often enough, sadly).

The view from behind 1926 Magazine Street can be seen by walking one half block off of Magazine on St. Andrew’s heading towards the river. You’ll find yourself standing across the street from the St. Thomas Community Health Center, which is adjoined to the back of the Magazine Discount Market.

While in the neighborhood, be sure to stop by Miette and pick up a copy of my illustrated horror novel. We’ll be hosting our release party at Miette this Saturday, October 3rd.

You are definitely invited.

Brett.

 

Written by Guignol

September 28, 2015 at 12:00 pm

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